It happens sometimes that we go to a party yet we don’t have the right mood to enjoy it. Watch a magnificent sunrise or sunset yet we are not up to the view. We achieve something after a long while yet it doesn’t bring the joy we anticipated!
It’s a very relative when happiness is the topic. It differs from person to person as much as it differs from time to time for the same person. Yes if we go philosophical, to find joy or feel happy in a situation it must be traceable to one’s past. At least this is how emotions could be implemented in a robot .. and that simulates whatever happens in the human brain. Some good memory from the past pushes a button in the present. And if it’s not a specific memory, it would be the small tiny pieces of experience we have been through. But aside from philosophy, it’s crucial to understand even if one’s logic implies happiness, it sometimes can be unachievable if we simply block it! And it’s obvious this happens unintentionally. Emotions, the heart & the mind are tightly-coupled .. and the lines between them will always be blurry.
Happiness so is love so are all other emotions in the emotional spectrum require allowing them, deciding to let them through. The sun shines as much as you allow it to. That reflection in us is what matters most. Not the fact that the sun shines, the party rocks or your partner loves you.
I find it absurd that such emotional intelligence is not taught in schools by professionals. Instead students are asked to memorize some historical facts that are 1 google away!!
Back to happiness, in my opinion it’s the extra mile right after satisfaction .. which is really what matters. If we speak in terms of charges, satisfaction would be the neutral balance & happiness would add a positive vibe to that balance. Sometimes finding that balance clears the way for happiness to come through. Or in other words put us in the mental state to let happiness through.
In our search for satisfaction or happiness, it’s important to understand you are your own guide. There is no best practice or a well-known path. Your character, your thoughts, your emotions, your ideas, your struggles, your goals, your dreams, your visions & your experience will never match their counterparts in any other person living during your time or at any given point of time. It’s a fact! We just engage in social relationships so we can share experiences but not to follow in others’ exact footsteps. Yes knowledge can be shared but we weigh that to ourselves & see how things can fall into place.
For instance for someone going after a dream & doing extraordinary work is a source of happiness! Although it carries with it sleepless nights & fatigue, yet them seeing progress along the way is strong enough to give them joy & charge their batteries. For someone else this doesn’t make sense. Their happiness is laying on the beach & hearing the waves of the ocean. For another just a hot shower can restore some of the lost happiness amongst a chaotic day. The warmth of the water can provide unconditional hugs with no questions asked .. well you get the idea.
It’s worth mentioning here that materialistic happiness doesn’t keep its state. The possession of flashy things could be one source of happiness, but it has one problem. Once we humans get used to those things, they lose their power to bring happiness. The investment in my opinion should be in experiences and in our personal perspective how we see things. This have some sort of guarantee we can find happiness in different situations and with a wide range of things even if they are not flashy. In other words we start to see the good in every situation. In more accurate words, we start to create the good in every situation no matter how challenging it would be. Every one of those come with opportunities .. and for us to seize them, we need to be in the right mental state.
In our pursuit for that we shouldn’t rush or hammer ourselves for the speed of our growth, failed attempts or the small tiny flaws. Cause this will probably backfire. One fact that will never change till the end of time, nobody achieves a full mark in perfection. You like me like everyone has their own clock and we grow in stages. What sabotages this growth or breaks the flow is when we start comparing our clocks to others’! They will never sync in the same speed. and if they do, we would be replicas of the same product which eliminates the idea of how one can go as far as no one else has gone.
And about the title: “The theory of happiness” .. well there isn’t. I’m sure if I google the name, I’ll find someone tried to put happiness in some forms but I’m sure it’s total nonsense. Like anything else in life people try to analyze situations and build conclusions & best practices. But a theory will always be a theory and everyone will see it differently as long as nothing tangible or clear to the naked eye is present. In fewer words, happiness is self-tailored.
To wrap-up, I remind myself too to allow emotions to fall into place. In the presence of all reasons for happiness, it has to be given the permission to come through. The chemicals won’t find their way to the brain if the signals are blocked. Like anything else, practice is key. Feeling & thinking share the same cup, more of one guarantees less of the other. They need to be balanced for a healthy lifestyle. Like Chaplin said in “the great dictator”, we think too much & feel too little.
Satisfaction and hence happiness can be a partner in a small tiny room or when alone in a desert .. and also can be light years away in a palace or among all your loved ones.